Ask The Gooch [Archives]

From:
Arvind's Mom (Again), Chennai, India

Dear Gooch,

Yesterday, I went to Zumiez to buy Arvind snowboard wax. When I asked the boy behind the counter with a bullring through his nose if he had Choad Cheese he laughed and said, "You said choad." Then he told me he never heard of a snowboard wax called Choad Cheese. He suggested that I buy SWIX. I told him that in my opinion, SWIX lacks pizzazz and asked if he had any Crack Grease instead. He laughed at me again and said he wasn't sure and that he would need to go to the bathroom to check. It was an utterly terrible experience. He kept yelling across the store to his coworkers, "Hey Phillip, do you have Choad Cheese?" "Oh Martha, Martha dear, have you perchance a smidge of Crack Grease that this young lady may examine. No. Oh my, I'm sorry. Martha showered just this morning and is completely out of Crack Grease."

Then I called REI and told them that my son Arvind is out of Choad Cheese and needs it real bad and the woman hung up on me.

I have found this entire experience quite exhausting. Tell me, where can I purchase some Choad Cheese for Arvind?

Regards,
Arvind's Mom


P.S. Here is my Palak Paneer recipe:

Palak Paneer

 

6 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger root
2 dried red chile peppers
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
3/4 cup sour cream
3 pounds fresh spinach, torn
1 large tomato, quartered
4 sprigs fresh cilantro leaves
8 ounces ricotta cheese
coarse sea salt to taste

In a large saucepan heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil and saute garlic, 1/2 tablespoon of ginger, red chilies (optional ingredient) and onion until brown. Mix in the cumin, coriander, turmeric and sour cream (add more or less to achieve desired creaminess). Add the spinach, handfuls at a time until it is cooked down, about 15 minutes total. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.

Pour spinach mixture into a blender or food processor and add the tomato, the remaining 1/2 tablespoon of ginger, and cilantro (add more or less according to taste). Blend for 15 to 30 seconds, or until the spinach is finely chopped. Pour back into the saucepan and keep warm over low heat.

In a medium frying pan heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat, and fry cheese until browned; drain and add to spinach. Cook for 10 minutes on low heat. Season with salt to taste.

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Dear Arvind's Mom,

You poor, poor woman, I am absolutely astounded by the sophomoric and adolescent repsonses you received from those customer service representatives. I can assure you that you would never receive service like that from Crack Grease Snowboarding.

Just mosey over to www.crackgrease.com and from there skeedaddle a little further yonder to our Products page where you'll find a link to purchase Choad Cheese Snowboard Wax safely and securely using PayPal. We currently have both our Frommotta and Frommunda formula's for sale. Frommotta is our warm wax for temperatures 32 and higher and Frommunda is our cold wax for temps 32 and lower. Both formulas are available in our Dirty Hippie scent.

We are currently formulating our spring scent which is based on your delicious Coconut Curry recipe. When it is perfected, we will call it "Arvind's Mom's Coconut Curry" because you are simply that rad.

So hop online and buy yer boy some Choad Cheese!

Thanks for the recipe!
The Gooch


 

 

Archives

Past letters to The Gooch:
El Dorado Rubenstein
Arvind's Mom
> Arvind's Mom (Again)

A History of The Gooch

It all began in 1938. The Gooch took a break from preparing the final draft of the Estonian Constitution and spent several humid days in the Estonian Outback. He and Sir Robert Vansittart, the permanent
under-secretary at the British Foreign Office, raged from dawn to dusk riding sick tree lines, a little halfpipe and bonking the multitudinous Estonian Valley Donkeys that frequently loitered in the lift lines.

Being humid, and early season, their bases took quite a beating after several days and with no shred shops nearby they sat down to improvise some emergency wax. Choad Cheese Snowboard Wax was
born on January 28, 1938, coincidentally, the same day that the first ski tow in America began operation in Vermont. With little more than an ARC welder, some spruce resin and a ridiculous amount of donkey choad these two men created what we at Crack Grease consider to be the most sustainably-sourced and deliciously scented wax on the market today.

Choad Cheese Snowboard Wax is available in two temperature ranges, All-Temp and Cold-Temp.

 

Give Choad Cheese a try.

It's deliciously fast!

 

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